"To be a Christian means to forgive the inexcusable, because God has forgiven the inexcusable in you" -C.S. Lewis
Today, I am really dealing with something heavy. It is something that I seem to not let go of. This is something that my heart just can't seem to grasp. It is FORGIVENESS. I have been stressing about someone who has done me wrong and that bitterness pill is setting in. Along with bitterness comes hate, disgrace, revenge, and hurt. I have been back and forth in my mind on how to forgive this person but I still see the wrong that was done against me. I still feel the hurt and betrayal from this person. Forgiveness is my obligation as a Christian to grant. I know through God's grace that I have received forgiveness of my sins but how is it that I can't bestow that same forgiveness on the one who wronged me?
Is it me or is this one of the hardest things to do in life. I feel like I would rather go to the dentist or doctor than forgive the person who has wronged me. This is an uncomfortable position that I am in because
1. I want God's forgiveness for my sins and I don't want Him to stop forgiving me
2. My negative emotions are getting the best of me
3. As my commitment to Christ, I feel as though I am in disobedience
These are the things that I just can't get past in order to start the process of healing and reconciliation. How do I forgive someone who has wronged me who I feel like has gotten away with it? How do I forgive a so called "friend" who betrayed me? How do I forgive this person if they haven't asked for it?
This week I have been repeatedly reminded to let go of the past and move on through to forgiveness that it has taken a toll on me. What I mean is that I feel stuck. I feel as if everything around me has stopped moving or is in slow motion, my business, my job, my life, etc. I feel that the enemy has laid the foundation for this hatred in my heart and now I am fighting to renew my faith. The one thing I do realize is that until I choose to have faith, display love, and release the past; forgiveness is not going to happen. The doors of opportunity will remain closed. The pathway to healing will stall. The peace of God will be held up in this storm. I have to learn from the past experiences, less the stress involved, in order to gain wisdom into what God is showing me. I need to move past my circumstances and gain the vision that God has before me. I have to lay my feelings aside and trust God to help me out.
Forgiveness is God's extended mercy. Its main ingredient is love. It leads me to a doorway where restoration and understanding are present. Although the gift of forgiveness is free for us, Jesus paid the price with His blood. As a child of God, He has supplied us with an overflow of forgiveness through His love and sacrifice. Once we humble ourselves and confess our sins then will he completely remove our sins and remembers them no more. So why is forgiving this person so hard for me? It would really take a miracle right now for this to happen. I don't want to stop receiving forgiveness for my sins just because I won't do what He has asked me to do. I don't want this person living in my head, rent free, for years before I make up my mind to evict him. To forgive is not easy but I know it is possible. I have to let go of this grudge and pray for this person who has hurt me. This is my journey to healing. I desire to live at peace with God so I have to set this person free, and myself, if I want God to set me free from my past. This is my greatest challenge today but I wanted to make it known that it can be done and you are not alone. As I write this I am helping myself. A forgiving spirit blesses both myself and others.
So remember this, FORGIVENESS is the gift that is necessary to share as often as possible for healing and to be made whole as God has granted us this responsibility. I am doing this for myself, my health, and my well being.
"To forgive is to set a prisoner free and discover that the prisoner was you" - Lewis Smedes
